I don't know why I woke up. I felt teeth crush my body, crush my bones, crush my skull. One jammed itself into the socket of my skull, it wasn't pretty.
I couldn't think, not really, just experience as the rest of my body was inextricably linked with something much bigger than me, how it felt to be swallowed and turned into nourishment for something else.

—

I did not think it'd end like this, feeling blood course through my veins again, to see and talk and laugh again as my mind flowed with possibility, with the absence of absence, with the satisfaction of a life worth living. I had energy in my limbs, clarity of vision, my throat stopped being parched.
It was not right.
Because this was a power I only borrowed, one I only kept for myself as long as this delusion could keep me here. I shivered.
I twitched. My muscles felt like they would burst underneath my skin, and it felt wrong.
It lived underneath me. I devoured it in turn.

-

I am so hungry. Every day I wake and forget where I am. I know I have to do something but my mind is a bunch of holes it's a bunch of holes and I can not look through them, can not stitch them together.
If only I remembered how you did that.
I remember stitching, taking that small piece of metal between my fingers, gently. Not gripping it tight because by the end my fingers would be full of holes.
I then would mend a shirt, or some pants, occasionally skin when someone came back and asked for it. That was different.

-

My skin is so tough, it's scaly, bumpy.
I don't mind it, it makes me feel tough, like my spirit is encased in this and can't be shaken out. I am large, I am terrifying even. I am hungry.

-

I think my holes are getting worse. I can't see sometimes, I wake up and the darkness surrounding me is too deep, almost as if just opening my eyes makes no difference.

-

why does a shark need to continue swimming to live?
I think it was something about lactic acids, or muscles, or determination. I think it had something to do with the fact that the shark has teeth and eyes and can smell blood through water. I think it has to do with the fact the shark is a living creature, one that can breathe and hunger and mate and cut its own fins off on sharp stones if something infected it.

My fins hurt.

-

I don't think I'll ever be human again. I've been like this for too long, fused into this for too long. I can feel blood in my throat. Something raspy and sharp is trying to climb out of it I'm sure.

###################################################################################################

Something I could not see.
Happened to be here.
Could I have caught it.
If I tried?
If I tried?
And I tried I tried